I’m
baaaaaaaaack. Yes I’m here, with a self-indulgent post that covers such ~new~
concepts for this blog, namely; (1) relationships
(2) self-reflection. The content is almost TOO original, I know.
So the
concept alluded to in the title is pretty basic – it’s formally taken from Manson (a touch mad that the original quote is attributed to that BS artist lol), but better articulated by Art of Wellbeing. Essentially, the phrase is designed to act as a prompt
for us to consider our relationship decisions and how we make them. It refers
to the ‘hell f*cking yes’ feeling you get in your gut when you meet someone that’s
special. Some people meet lots and lots of ‘f*ck-yes’s, some less so, sometimes
people we’ve known for a long time transform into a ‘f*ck-yes’ when we get to
know them better… sometimes some of us go long periods of time between meeting ‘f*ck-yes’s’ and start to romanticize the ‘this-is-nice’s’
to a point where they become the ‘f*ck-yes’ of our dreams (I feel personally attacked
by myself).
This is the
problem that I think has contributed to the huge levels of heartbreak, separation
and divorce going around – many of us don’t self-evaluate ‘f*ck-yes’ status frequently
enough to allow us to properly evaluate our relationships …until it’s too late,
and people get hurt.
This doesn’t
necessarily mean that when it becomes more difficult to look at the person and
feel those ‘f*ck-yes-feels (it inevitably does, with ANYONE, no matter how in
love you initially are), that the relationship is bust. If your gut is suddenly
saying no, it’s probably because you’re not emotionally ready. When
the person comes around that you’re meant to be with, both of you will be at a
point in life where that gut will willingly be like: “f*ck yes I’m ready for compromise”, “f*ck
yes, let’s find a solution to this, “f*ck yes let’s get through our shit
together”, “f*ck yes let’s grow old together” – that is the f*ck-yes every
person wants. Nothing to do with romantic gestures, social media posts or words
that end up not meaning much in the end (~calling out a cute 21st speech
from a dear old friend of mine lol~).
People want
someone to think of them and think – “f*ck.”…“f*ck yes, f*ck yes 'till the end”.
That’s it -
that’s how you and your person will eventually find each other. You both have
the gut feeling… yet, through the hurdles, the gut feeling stays. When
the gut feeling goes away and we continue in our relationships, that’s when
things start getting messy; It’s when we start telling lies, hurting each other
and convincing ourselves we deserve less than we truly do.
Therefore,
my little reflection of the post is this: I don’t deserve anything less than a
“f*ck yes”, and neither do any of you. Of course, there's an in-between gut feeling (ArtofWellbeing calls this the 'fuck yes enough') - and if you want to get into more nuanced detail, I suggest you read the article linked above.
In summary, I think it's a simple little musing/mantra that is helping me navigate the emotional headspin that is being single in a generation that has too much choice. I hope it somehow helps you, too.
Love Always,
M x
In summary, I think it's a simple little musing/mantra that is helping me navigate the emotional headspin that is being single in a generation that has too much choice. I hope it somehow helps you, too.
Love Always,
M x
